why do i hear those words over and over again.
it keeps me awake.
was it my fault? or was it.

im like this. and i've always been. and will always be.

Actually, I lost them na. ahaha. san ka pa?

Wala akong ginagawang masama. Wala nga lang dn akong gngwang mabuti. At least lang wala akong ginagawa. Mas masama kung meron.

kc disqualified ung 1, ibig sbhin d xa krapatdpat dun. ngpakita b xa ng interes sa pgtakbo? d nmn db? udjok lng ng mga tao sa pligid nya, ibig sbhin d buo ung loob nya s pgtakbo...kmbga kulang sa interes...sumunod b xa s hihinge ng policy-making body? s nkita ko indi eh...aun com wat may p xa

tingin m mrami deserving tingin ko 1 lng.. tingin ko rn lang..hehe peace yo

ngwork hard? cguro sa comitee nya.. e s pg apply sa position ng work hard b? indi ata, d na npili e

anung wag?! ipagkait nga dpat sa hinde nmn interesado sa pinapasukan nya.. anu n mngyari sa trbho kng alang interes? walang p22nguhan khit p sbhin n lam n nya kng pnu ptakbuhn un. la p rn mngyari kng ala sa puso ang trabhong pnapasok.

betterment nga ng org, tngin ko wlang trabhong mt2pos kng andun xa, puro n lng reklamo...BETTERMENT indi BITTERMENT!




wa.dami ko nainom n tubig ah...

wala lang. inulit ko lang at nireview.

-para saken yan lahat. kalungkot naman

Ang aking new weeks resolution

 

Una. Wag na maging bitter

Pangalawa. Bawasan ang pangbabackstab

Pangatlo. Maging patient

Pangapat. Wag na papaapekto sa mga bagay bagay sa paligid

Panglima. Iappreciate na ang mga bagay sa paligid

Panganim. Ituon na lang ang oras sa pag-aaral at trabaho

Pangpito. Maging masaya.

 

Ginawa ko pa ang mga kalokohang to sa pag-aakalang kaya kong tuparin lahat. Hindi ko natupad. Imposible kong matupad. GInusto kong baguhin takbo ng buhay ko. Naging magulo nga lahat. Kasalanan ko. Wala akong pinagsisisihan. Pero gusto ko na ayusin. Itama lahat ng nagawa kong mali. Naisip ko kahit ako man lang mag-isa. Makaya kong gawin. Akala ko mababago ko. Akala ko may magagawa ako.

 

Oo, totoo. Mahirap talaga ginagawa ko. Kahit buong mundo pa tulungan ako, wala silang magagawa para maiayos ang problema ko. Ako lang ang pwede tsaka siya. Tama ba?

 

Marami na ang mga naging pangyayare. Kasalanan ko, pero hindi lang ako. Responsable ako, pero hindi lahat responsibilidad ko. Bahala ka na kung paano mo titingnan ang mga angulo. Bahala ka na kung paano mo tatanggapin ang lahat.

 

Tinanggap ko na. Hindi lahat ng mga bagay kaya kong makuha. Hindi lahat, pwede maging akin. Alam ko na yun. Naiintindihan ko na yun. Sinsusubukan ko na baguhin. I wanted to be as understanding as possible. Lahat lahat ginagawa ko. Para tanggapin lahat ng nangyayare sa buhay ko. Lahat yun pinipilit kong kakitaan ng magandang anggulo para hindi maging pangit ang pagtanggap ko sa mga ibinibigay sa akin. Hindi ako perpekto, at hindi ako magiging perpekto. Pero ginagawa ko ang mga nararapat para mabago ang mga dapat baguhin. Hindi ko alam kung nagagawa ako. O pakiramdam ko lang may nagagawa ako. Sinusubukan ko na wag magpaapekto sa mga nakikita ko sa paligid, alam ko masasaktan lang ako. Ginusto ko, alam ko kung ano balik sa akin ng lahat ng mga nagawa ko. Wala akong nirereklamo, pero nasasaktan na ako. Nalaman ko na hindi talaga lahat ng bagay patas. Mayroon talagang hindi para sa iyo, at wag na wag ka nang aasang makukuha mo un. Kahit anong gawin mo. Wala ka nang magagawa. Ganun na talaga yun.

 

Hindi ako masaya, at hindi ako magiging masaya, at hindi siya magiging masaya hangga't hindi ako nagiging masaya. Alam kong naging patas ako, at hindi ko na problema kung hindi ganoon ang pagtingin nya. Problema na nya un. Pareho lang kaming parang tanga. Hindi lang ako. Pataasan ng pride, ngayon, wala na akong balak magpatalo. Mahirapan na ang mahihirapan, pero nakapagdesisyon na ako. Mali na kung mali. Wala na ako nagagawa. That person did not exist, and will not exist, ever. Sabe mo minumura kita? Ngaun minumura na kita,  FCUK  YOU, GET OUT OF MY WORLD!!!

 

Ganito parin ba ang mararamdaman ko bukas? Ewan ko. Nabawasan na ang dinadala ko, Ok na ko dun. Bahala ka nalang pagtawanan lahat ng sinulat ko.  

 

                                                                                                                             -eiji

 

let's be happy

I happen to have an online journal at livejournal.com. Yes, nakalimutan ko na siya. I just remembered it a moment ago. Well, aside from my post few minutes ago, I last posted on that journal 1 year ago, september 2006. Nonsense pa ung pinost ko.

God is good.

 

I know I’ll be able to make it.

 

No matter how hard things could be.

 

No matter how long it takes.

 

I know I’ll be able to make it someday.

 

I know things could turn out to be just fine.

 

I just need to smile.

 

I just need to be happy even though I’m having a hard time.

 

I just have to enjoy everything for as long as I can.

 

Hangga’t kaya, hangga’t pwede pa.

    naiinis ako

Wala lang, matawa ka sa nga nangyayare. Kakaiba eh. Nakakaexcite. Prang abangan ang mga susunod na pangyayare. Nakaktawa isipin. Pero nakakainis din kahit papano. Well, wala na tayo magagawa, its part of our life, and there is nothing we can do about it. Tama ba?

You entered: regene garcia

There are 12 letters in your name.
Those 12 letters total to 66
There are 6 vowels and 6 consonants in your name.

Your number is: 3

The characteristics of #3 are: Expression, verbalization, socialization, the arts, the joy of living.

The expression or destiny for #3:
An Expression of 3 produces a quest for destiny with words along a variety of lines that may include writing, speaking, singing, acting or teaching; our entertainers, writers, litigators, teachers, salesmen, and composers. You also have the destiny to sell yourself or sell just about any product that comes along. You are imaginative in your presentation, and you may have creative talents in the arts, although these are more likely to be latent. You are an optimistic person that seems ever enthusiastic about life and living. You are friendly, loving and social, and people like you because you are charming and such a good conversationalist. Your ability to communicate may often inspire others. It is your role in life to inspire and motivate; to raise the spirits of those around you.

The negative side of number 3 Expression is superficiality. You may tend to scatter your forces and simply be too easygoing. It is advisable for the negative 3 to avoid dwelling on trivial matters, especially gossip.

Your Soul Urge number is: 8

A Soul Urge number of 8 means:
With an 8 soul urge, you have a natural flair for big business and the challenges imposed by the commercial world. Power, status and success are very important to you. You have strong urges to supervise, organize and lead. Material desires are also very pronounced. You have good executive abilities, and with these, confidence, energy and ambition.

Your mind is analytical and judgment sound; you're a good judge of material values and also human character. Self-controlled, you rarely let emotions cloud judgment. You are somewhat of an organizer at heart, and you like to keep those beneath you organized and on a proper track. This is a personality that wants to lead, not follow. You want to be known for your planning ability and solid judgment.

The negative aspects of the 8 soul urge are the often dominating and exacting attitude. You may have a tendency to be very rigid, sometimes stubborn.

Your Inner Dream number is: 4

An Inner Dream number of 4 means:
You dream of being a very solid citizen that people can depend upon. You strive for organization and predictable order. You want to be recognized as a person with a plan and the discipline to make that plan work like clockwork.

http://www.paulsadowski.com/NameData.asp